femme fatale

“Women who pay their own rent don’t have to be nice.”
— Katharine Dunn

“But more important, her beauty seemed to stand for something inside her, a kind of apartness, and a feeling that she knew exactly where she was going and how she was going to get there, and that she would go, happily, alone.”
— Anna Quindlen, Object Lessons

“People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.”
— Bob Dylan

“The sexiest parts of my body? My brain, my spine, and my guts.”
— Unknown

(The Birth of Venus by Botticelli)

“My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it’s very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do. ”
— Ani DiFranco

“An intelligent woman has millions of born enemies… all the stupid men.”
— Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

(Venus de Milo; the ancient Greek statue depicting Aphrodite)

“Women should spend less time raising children, and more time raising hell!”


creampies and dealbreakers

Creampie (used as verb not noun): Reference to director Michael Patrick King’s commentary on Sex and the City: The term “creampie” is a metaphor for when a character builds up great hopes/expectations only to be brought down by reality or some kind of letdown or disappointment.

I do believe that the creampie is the inevitable climax to most dating experiences. Sooner or later, we all get creampied. Someone is too clingy/needy/insecure. Someone is unappealingly broke. Someone has a record. Someone is an asshole. Someone is (gasp) bad in bed. You get the idea. I think life is great before the creampie. You can imagine how things will be so great, walking on the beach holding hands and all of that lovely stuff. But sooner or later, my friends:

SPLAT. You will get creampied, for sure. The more excited you get, true to form–the messier the creampie will be.

This leads into my next order of business which is dealbreakers (at least for me). Everyone has them, it’s just whether or not they elect to make them known, but I think I’m brave enough. And maybe it will make dudes think twice before they pull these atrocities on one of their dates, thus resulting in the aforementioned creampie situation.

-Not springing for a soda at the movies. Come on, man. I know it’s five bucks and it’s an insane markup, but you look oh-so-cheap cruising by that refreshment stand without offering.

-Having literally no money. I’m not shallow or superficial, or maybe I am, and I know “love don’t cost a thing,” but money is kind of the lifeblood of dating, so you can go out and experience things outside your own apartments to get to know each other. Call me old-fashioned…but being at least somewhat financially secure is right up there.

-Money talk. Okay, so whether you have money or not, I don’t want to hear about it unless we’re serious. It’s boring to me to hear about your financial woes or listen to you brag about your salary, and it’s invasive to ask me what I pay for rent, car payment, heat, or my shoes, because who the fuck really cares?

-Clingy, needy, etcetera. It’s not that I’m a bitch, it’s just that I don’t really need you or want to talk to you 24/7. Constant availability doesn’t make anyone sexy; this should be common knowledge.

-Incessant pawing/trying to get laid. But guys will be guys, so expected and tolerated to a point.

-Strange sexual surprises…?!

-Calling me any of the following: Cutie, hun, mami, ma, sweet-cheeks, good-lookin’ or any other ridiculous name. Please!

All in good fun. I don’t take anything too seriously and neither should you–life is too short! If worse comes to worst, we can always just say “next!”

velvet kisses

Short, but one of my personal favorites I’ve done. I changed it a little to repost it here.
[Originally written December 23rd, 2006]

she knew she’d lost him
wine stains on her countertop remind her
of things they toasted to
and everything she’d wanted.

velvet kisses, sad goodbye
and slowly things unfold
she wished she’d kept her heart
hidden away.

she cries when no one is looking
cold rainy nights of raw solitude
the sky reminds her of his eyes
no one touches her the same.

I spent the day dreaming

I spent the day dreaming. The light was falling in through my window, like a promise of everything that felt so perfect and so right. I felt a change; and I feel no pain. He is all I could ask for. It takes a lot to remove me from the love affair I have with my own self. I am thankful to have such a sense of who I am, and it grows everyday. Yet it’s a self that’s so contained; it’s hard to expose it to someone else. I keep it within myself, in candlelit nights and waning afternoons, listening to music, musing to myself. I wish I could say, when I was with him, pearls would fall from my lips, and I could be every bit a dream; only doesn’t work like that; as the dearest parts of me cannot be given away…

I want love to be simple. I want to give all of myself, and have it somehow still feel as if it is not enough. I want it to feel boundless. Wounds heal and we’re left with scars that tell of our past, but time changes leaving behind only echoes of who we once were. As everything around me withers and turns to gray, I only find myself more willing to bloom. I find myself strong…with an alarming sense of translucent fragility; where it came from and why, I could never explain. I don’t know who could possibly understand my complicated inner world, so wild and untamed, so innately good it couldn’t fool itself yet alone another living being. My soul is steeped in honesty, in a certain willingness, with a craving for another human so specific, it forever seemed impossible to find–that kindred spirit, who you can just be with, and there is no need for anything but simple togetherness.