Finally, I read it! This would have been a fantastic beach read, if only I hadn’t been camped out in my apartment in a snowstorm in the middle of winter…
“She was too busy to keep a diary…luckily, American Express kept one for her.” So quips a headline atop this deliciously fluffy (another reviewer called it “the M&Ms of the memoir world”) read. Amy Borkowsky humorously remembers 12 years of a twentysomething, single, career-woman’s life in Manhattan as she goes through her credit card statements. From the habitual (Starbucks,* Chinese takeout) to the romantic (getaways, gifts, dinners out) and the practical (a bells-and-whistles stereo system, quest for the perfect sofa) and exorbitant (ski lessons, airline tickets), only a gifted writer can transform the mundane and depressing (read: bills) into such a delightfully amusing account. Maybe gimmicky, and even corny at times (like the last page), but you just can’t stop reading.
This excerpt is from a chapter called The Tarot of Leg Hair (really!), and I found it to be somewhat accurate in defining any single woman’s romantic situation:
Hair growth on legs of a quarter-to a half-inch = not dating anyone.
Hair growth greater than half an inch = will take trip in near future, to waxing salon.
Smooth, hairless legs = dating someone or has doctor’s appointment.
Slight stubble (eighth-inch of less) = has boyfriend but he’s out of town.
One leg smooth and other stubbly = working crazy hours, ran out of shaving gel.
Both legs shaved from knees down only = had blind date from computer, wore pants.
Hairless legs with cuts = rushed through shave for booty call.
Entertaining as it is, it’s stunningly true how much we (single women, maybe everyone?) can learn about our prior selves by looking through our own statements. Our habits, major events, disasters and necessities all seem to be neatly portrayed on a monthly basis. You’d be surprised what you can learn–and remember–about yourself, and the events and circumstances that surround your purchasing history.
*Ironically, there was a reference to the whole Tall=Small thing discussed in the previous entry.