an ode to heartache

What a shame, I’ve become such a fragile and broken thing
I poured myself to you and you thoughtlessly spilled
I have no respite, no recourse
The worst has happened, I’ll mend from here.

I’m a violent sensual sensitive girl.

They say that anything can be replaced
Find another girl to pass the days
She’s beautiful, she has your face
There is nothing time cannot erase…

(As Tall as Lions)

Pseudo-love.
If a person has not reached the level where she has a sense of I-ness rooted in the productive unfolding of her own powers, she tends to idolize the loved person. She is alienated from her own powers and projects them into the loved person.

The bearer of all love, all light, all bliss.

In this process she deprives herself of all sense of strength, loses herself in the loved one instead of finding herself. Since no person can live up to the expectations of her idolatrous worshiper, disappointment is bound to occur.

(From Girl in Need of a Tourniquet by Merri Lisa Johnson)

Yes, I’ll get over it eventually.
Maybe even soon.
But that doesn’t make it hurt any less right now.

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2 thoughts on “an ode to heartache

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