kiss me hard before you go

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby, you’re the best

I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Got my hair up real big beauty queen style
High heels off, I’m feeling alive

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore

I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh

I’m feelin’ electric tonight
Cruising down the coast goin’ ’bout 99
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I’ll die happy tonight

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in my head, there’s a greyhound station

1.
Where do you intend to go with your dirty dress?
Lead my skeptic sight to the table and the light.

2.
The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I’ll never know
But I’m still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who’s gone
And I’m still here

Maybe tonight
It’s gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It’s gonna be okay
I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole
Then I saw you yesterday
But you didn’t notice
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive


3.
Skipping beats
Blushing cheeks
I am struggling
Daydreaming
Bed scenes in the corner cafe
And then I’m left in bits recovering tectonic, tremblings
You get me every time


4.
Cause in my head there’s a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they’re far more suited than here

And I cannot guess what we’ll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s
And not one speck will remain

5.
We smiled so bright the sun went down
Rose above the maddening crowd
We lit the streets with the sweetest glow
We held the globe and made it turn
Wandered through the universe
The men of science observed through telescopes

1. jimmy eat world (table for glasses), 2. vertical horizon (i’m still here), 3. imogen heap (goodnight and go), 4. death cab for cutie (soul meets body), 5. a fine frenzy (lifesize)

cinematic, razor sharp


You’re cinematic, razor sharp
A welcome arrow through the heart
Under your skin feels like home
Electric shocks on aching bones


How rich in contrast
Love can be
Sometimes I’m quite amused
To see it twist and turn
To taste both sweet and dry
These vintage years
Lovers you consume, my friend
As others their wine


I’m broken open
Fragile heart, tapered kiss
I hate missing you
Wondering what you’re doing
All the while correctly suspecting
That you don’t give a fuck.

(my own journal)


I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be

So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you
Should have known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

*Lyrics – in order: Snow Patrol (You’re All I Have), Radiohead (Bitter Sweet), Fiona Apple (Paper Bag), A Fine Frenzy (Almost Lover)

blessed for good.

—-

How could you not already have felt blessed for good,
having these last days spoken your whole heart to him,
who spoke his whole heart to you, so that in the silence
he would not feel a single word was missing?
How could you not have slipped into a spell,
in full daylight, as he lay next to you,
with his arms around you, as they have been,
it must have seemed, all your life?
How could your cheek not press a moment to his cheek,
which presses itself to yours from now on?
—-

(from “How Could You Not” by Galway Kinnell) ♥

This is pretty much my favorite song in the entire universe ever. The best songs are simple and beautiful. Judith Durham’s voice! My God.

“I almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days – three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.” — John Keats

“To be empty and be filled with darkness.
To be empty and be filled with light.
To be full and give birth to the impossible.

To trust?
To love?
Myself first.
Trust me (it’s the only way).
Watch the sunflowers bloom,
spilling seeds into our hands;
a feast for the eyes and tongue.
I bloom in trust.
I trust the color yellow:
desire, fulfilled–
O, endless desire
empty/full empty/full.
I trust my desire,
endlessly.”

(quoted from the collection of poems by Alma Luz Villanueva – “Desire”)

stay at home, Sunday Girl.

Tonight is lit by yellow light bulbs and
wrapped in cream colored blankets
We spend our moments swallowed up in white silence but for
thirty second commercial breaks of kissing
All the noise gone from our hearts.


she can’t catch up with the working crowd
the weekend mood and she’s feeling proud
live in dreams, Sunday Girl ♥

text messages/ bubbling up/ dill pickles/ blow jobs/ launched/ lost.
needed repair/ jungle sex/ four am.
feelings/ feelings/ feelings/ feelings
meeting a mirror/ finding the flesh/ scrambled eggs/ flannel/resolve

Your hands are in my hair but my heart is in your teeth baby
And it makes me want to make you near me always

(Jewel)

You have strange images of her as your sweetheart, your one and true sweetheart, and you want to go steady, want to rake leaves with her, want to give her a letter sweater, these 1950s dreams…want it to be Christmas and lights and a fireplace and cocoa and her wearing angora.

(from Landscapes by Joseph Monninger)

lyrically unfolding

The road gets cold; there’s no spring in the meadow this year
And I’m a new chicken, clucking open hearts and ears
Oh such a prima donna, sorry for myself
But green is also summer, and I won’t be warm
Till I’m lying in your arms

(The Weepies, Gotta Have You)

Give me romance
Give me moon sun rain endless afternoon
Give me letters and longing
Give me waves of neon pleasure
Give me chocolate wine blood-laced meat

Soak me saturate me taste me
Watch me do yoga on the kitchen floor
Feel my body arch to meet yours – navel towards spine
Connection of flesh muscle bone nerves
Spasm at the slightest mention of your name

(scribbled last night)


(photo taken in Brookfield NH 10.31.11)

We’ll sit on the front porch
The sun can warm my feet
You drink your coffee with sugar and cream
I’ll drink my decaf herbal tea
Pretend we’re perfect strangers
And that we never met
“My you remind me of a man I used to sleep with,
That’s a face I’ll never forget”
And you can be Henry Miller, and I’ll be Anais Nin
Except this time it’ll be even better
We’ll stay together in the end.

(Jewel, Morning Song)

I decided I like the smooth shape of your shoulders best
Your beard catches droplets of water from the shower
I prefer you unencumbered
You unearth my deepest laughter
And now I no longer feel haunted.
So soon, I imagine a maybe life with you.
Acres of meadow. At least three dogs and five cats.
We’ll always have beer so good it tastes like honey down our glad throats
You’ve got eyes like beach glass
I trust your heart, and your soul, when you hold me.
Handle with care.

I am not from here,
my hair smells of the wind
and is full of constellations,
and I move about this world
with a healthy disbelief.
And I approach my days and my work
with vaporous consequence
a touch that is translucent,
but can violate stone.

(Jewel)

songs for daydreams – Beyond the Clouds

…by The Poppy Family, 1968.

I put a seed in my garden
It wouldn’t grow
I gave a man all my heart
And I watched him go
Nothing seems to be for me
Everything is down, you see
I’m so low

I sat alone on a hillside
What could it be?
And as I turned toward the dark sky
It came to me
Down was just my state of mind
All the ups are mine to find
For the sun shines for those who look
Beyond the clouds