you are my alligator

Sunday night & I’m crawling through my sadness alongside a cup of yogi tea and finding reasons to make myself cry because I miss him and I need to. I should be used to this now. Safety in his arms and then back to myself; I’m unmoored.

So there’s this, favorite part of one of my favorite movies, and such a lovely and simple song.

It’s a fear, it is near.
the shape becomes ever clear.
It bares teeth, extra sharp, that’ll cut you in the heart.
It attacks really quick, try and fight it with a stick.
It’s no use, give it up, this is life and this is love.

You are my alligator
You are my alligator

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she’s not super famous yet, but

I can’t get enough of Marina and the Diamonds. I just put a voice to the face that keeps popping up everywhere. I’m obsessed with Lana Del Rey so I was impressed to find another self-made female artist with a decidedly poppy yet brand new song and a delicious voice. I bought her album and can’t stop listening to “Lies” and “Radioactive,” but “Prima Donna” was my first glimpse and listen into her world:

This interview is also amazing, although Erin Lucas is a terrible interviewer… Marina is disarmingly adorable and so much fun to watch. I adore her coquettish, 60s esque style. ❀

Somebody That I Used To Know (cover)

Maybe this is just because I’ve been having an Ingrid and Luke marathon this weekend (normally could care less about “famous” YouTubers but she was the first “beauty guru” I started following) – but they do so well with this song and they’re such an adorable couple. I can’t help but smile watching them. πŸ™‚

Luke –Β http://youtube.com/Luke
Ingrid –Β http://youtube.com/Missglamorazzi and http://youtube.com/TheGridMonster

kiss me hard before you go

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby, you’re the best

I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Got my hair up real big beauty queen style
High heels off, I’m feeling alive

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore

I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh

I’m feelin’ electric tonight
Cruising down the coast goin’ ’bout 99
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I’ll die happy tonight

cinematic, razor sharp


You’re cinematic, razor sharp
A welcome arrow through the heart
Under your skin feels like home
Electric shocks on aching bones


How rich in contrast
Love can be
Sometimes I’m quite amused
To see it twist and turn
To taste both sweet and dry
These vintage years
Lovers you consume, my friend
As others their wine


I’m broken open
Fragile heart, tapered kiss
I hate missing you
Wondering what you’re doing
All the while correctly suspecting
That you don’t give a fuck.

(my own journal)


I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be

So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you
Should have known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

*Lyrics – in order: Snow Patrol (You’re All I Have), Radiohead (Bitter Sweet), Fiona Apple (Paper Bag), A Fine Frenzy (Almost Lover)

blessed for good.

—-

How could you not already have felt blessed for good,
having these last days spoken your whole heart to him,
who spoke his whole heart to you, so that in the silence
he would not feel a single word was missing?
How could you not have slipped into a spell,
in full daylight, as he lay next to you,
with his arms around you, as they have been,
it must have seemed, all your life?
How could your cheek not press a moment to his cheek,
which presses itself to yours from now on?
—-

(from “How Could You Not” by Galway Kinnell) β™₯

This is pretty much my favorite song in the entire universe ever. The best songs are simple and beautiful. Judith Durham’s voice! My God.

β€œI almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days – three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.” — John Keats

“To be empty and be filled with darkness.
To be empty and be filled with light.
To be full and give birth to the impossible.

To trust?
To love?
Myself first.
Trust me (it’s the only way).
Watch the sunflowers bloom,
spilling seeds into our hands;
a feast for the eyes and tongue.
I bloom in trust.
I trust the color yellow:
desire, fulfilled–
O, endless desire
empty/full empty/full.
I trust my desire,
endlessly.”

(quoted from the collection of poems by Alma Luz Villanueva – “Desire”)

stay at home, Sunday Girl.

Tonight is lit by yellow light bulbs and
wrapped in cream colored blankets
We spend our moments swallowed up in white silence but for
thirty second commercial breaks of kissing
All the noise gone from our hearts.


she can’t catch up with the working crowd
the weekend mood and she’s feeling proud
live in dreams, Sunday Girl β™₯

text messages/ bubbling up/ dill pickles/ blow jobs/ launched/ lost.
needed repair/ jungle sex/ four am.
feelings/ feelings/ feelings/ feelings
meeting a mirror/ finding the flesh/ scrambled eggs/ flannel/resolve

Your hands are in my hair but my heart is in your teeth baby
And it makes me want to make you near me always

(Jewel)

You have strange images of her as your sweetheart, your one and true sweetheart, and you want to go steady, want to rake leaves with her, want to give her a letter sweater, these 1950s dreams…want it to be Christmas and lights and a fireplace and cocoa and her wearing angora.

(from Landscapes by Joseph Monninger)