wake me when the hour arrives

somethings

This song has seen me through some tough times.

I keep hearing keys rattling, cars pulling in. I always think it’s him; even though I know it isn’t because he is someplace else. 

I thought he would be home by now, and it splits me apart that he isn’t. I cannot lie. I miss his lips. I miss his everything.

 

 

you are my alligator

Sunday night & I’m crawling through my sadness alongside a cup of yogi tea and finding reasons to make myself cry because I miss him and I need to. I should be used to this now. Safety in his arms and then back to myself; I’m unmoored.

So there’s this, favorite part of one of my favorite movies, and such a lovely and simple song.

It’s a fear, it is near.
the shape becomes ever clear.
It bares teeth, extra sharp, that’ll cut you in the heart.
It attacks really quick, try and fight it with a stick.
It’s no use, give it up, this is life and this is love.

You are my alligator
You are my alligator

cinematic, razor sharp


You’re cinematic, razor sharp
A welcome arrow through the heart
Under your skin feels like home
Electric shocks on aching bones


How rich in contrast
Love can be
Sometimes I’m quite amused
To see it twist and turn
To taste both sweet and dry
These vintage years
Lovers you consume, my friend
As others their wine


I’m broken open
Fragile heart, tapered kiss
I hate missing you
Wondering what you’re doing
All the while correctly suspecting
That you don’t give a fuck.

(my own journal)


I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be

So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you
Should have known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

*Lyrics – in order: Snow Patrol (You’re All I Have), Radiohead (Bitter Sweet), Fiona Apple (Paper Bag), A Fine Frenzy (Almost Lover)